Monthly Haiku Corner – May

Happy May Day! May in my mind has always been a strange mix of madness, mayhem, monsters, and, of course, mothers. So, this month’s theme is May Mutant Monsters!

abandoned truck
escaped creatures on the run…
that’s a big footprint

Best Horror Anthologies for Halloween

In celebration of the halfway point to Halloween, I’ve decided to share a list of my favorite horror anthologies that are perfect to watch on Halloween night.

Most of these movies are pretty gory and violent, so make sure the kids are in bed or definitely preoccupied with their candy haul in another room. The 70s are long gone and responsible parenting is in, so, don’t scar your kids for life with things they can’t unsee. Although, the worst that could happen is they turn into lifelong horror fans like us.

*****

Trick-‘r-Treat, 2007Directed by Michael Dougherty. With his directorial debut, Dougherty gave the world the terrifyingly cute Halloween mascot Sam, a trick-r-treating demon with a simple list of rules that must be followed on Halloween night. This cult-favorite film never saw a theatrical release because Warner Bros. supposedly didn’t know how to market the film. I think it was mostly due to the violence of and to the children in the film’s stories. Whatever the case, this is as perfect as an anthology film can get. Great acting, great storytelling, art direction, costumes, and cinematography are all on point, and then, there’s the birth of a Halloween icon, Sam. Films that spawn multi-dollar merchandising opportunities are pretty rare, but the fact that it all grew into a worldwide fan favorite without fancy marketing and a normal production release, absolute kismet! Earlier this year, rumors spread that a bonafide sequel was in the works, but there have been no other details. Fingers crossed that Dougherty’s magic casts a second spell over the horror lovers.

The Mortuary Collection, 2019Directed and written by Ryan Spindell. Shudder produced this slick original anthology with a framing story more interesting than the shorts. As a big fan of Clancy Brown, I was delighted to see him starring as the eccentric mortician in the small town of Raven’s End. When a young woman answers the “Help Wanted” sign, the mortician decides to test her resolve and recounts several macabre stories of death cases he’s encountered over the years, but, as it turns out, this secretive new employee has a tale of her own to tell. The acting, score, and production quality here are all top-notch and the short stories are pretty much classic horror, with one freshly woke tale guaranteed to make men squeamish.

Creepshow, 1982Directed by George A Romero. In this early 80s horror-comedy, legendary horror icons, Romero and Stephen King, who wrote three stories specifically for the movie, collaborate together for the first time. The good friends really knew how to speak each other’s language and produced a classic campy fun spooky anthology of five stories which really helped make horror anthologies appreciated in the same vein as horror films. Despite the Creep feeling awfully familiar to the Cryptkeeper of Tales of the Crypt fame, the Creepshow Magazine framing story is a solid tale of an abused boy named Billy, who just wants to enjoy his comics, but his father decides to throw his beloved magazine out instead. Creepshow was a perfectly executed anthology series, starring a lot of well-known Hollywood celebrities of 1980s respectively. With special effects and monster creations done by longtime Romero friend and collaborator Tom Savini, the film paid homage to old 1950s horror and sci-fi comics and movies. My favorite short, They’re Creeping up on You, starred EG Marshall, as a bigoted, racist germ-freak tycoon who gets his comeuppance in a creepy way.

Creepshow 2, 1987Directed by Michael Gornick. After George A. Romero wrote the screenplay for Creepshow 2, he stepped aside to allow the cinematographer of the first Creepshow movie, to wear the director cap, in this second film collaboration with Stephen King. Even with only three stories, this quintessential 80s horror outshines its predecessor and features fine performances from more Hollywood legends, like George Kennedy and Dorothy Lamour, and Tom Savini, who played the storytelling Creep and helped again with special effects. The stories are Stephen King’s classic tall tales come to life, with The Raft and The Hitchhiker being the best of three but I really did enjoy the outlining story involving the same bullied comic-reading hero Billy from the first film. Much like the first film, Creepshow 2 simply reminds us of why some of us fell in love with horror in the first place.

All Hallow’s Eve, 2013Directed and written by Damien Leone. What an introduction to the brutal sadistic horror villain Art the Clown. In his first feature-length film, Art terrorizes a babysitter on Halloween night, when she finds an old VHS tape containing three horrifying stories. One of the creepiest things about Art the Clown and why he’s become such a popular horror villain, is we just don’t know why he’s doing all this. It harkens back to the early days of Halloween’s Michael Myers, before the armchair psychologists showed up and ruined him. The boogeyman doesn’t need a reason.

V/H/S/94, 2021Directed by various directors. Does anyone even know or remember what VHS tapes are? All the Shudder’s V/H/S movies are great, but in ’94, I really enjoyed all the shorts and the framing story about a group of swat officers who raid the compound of a cult only to discover body parts and disturbing videotapes playing in each room. The Subject directed by Timo Tjahjanto was my favorite. What a gruesome action-packed delight. This is a perfectly cast and executed production of cyborg horror with a fantastic story and a hero which I hope we haven’t seen the last of. (I’m still waiting for cyberpunk horror genre to take off, now that we have the technology.) Fingers crossed someone gives Timo some money and lets him make a sequel or prequel.

Black Sabbath, (I tre volti della paura, ‘The Three Faces of Fear), 1963Directed by Mario Bava. The legendary Italian horror maestro teams up with horror icon Boris Karloff to tell three terrifying tales. This is mostly a thriller, light on actual scares, except for the last story, A Drop of Water. Now this is a horror classic that will haunt you. Bava stole from the best to bring these creepy tales to life and has found a cult following since its initial release, which was considered a bomb. I guess Kaloff’s star was fading by then. Thank the horror gods for DTV and streaming.

Tales of Halloween, 2015Directed by various directors. This Netflix production of ten separate horror stories, all taking place on Halloween night, is a lot fun and a great film to put on in the background of your Halloween party. After a long animation montage of the short’s titles and credits, we jump right into the action. There’s no framing story, just horror legend Adrienne Barbeau lending her smooth voice as a local DJ to set the mood for the evening. While not as scary as some other anthologies on this list, the Halloween vibe is strong and some shorts are really amusing and filled with dark humor. My favorite story was Friday the 31st which I found quite humorous and a real treat for those who like twists.

*****

There’s no real order to this list. I think every anthology series has merit and should be seen by horror fans. I can’t guarantee every story will tickle your fancy, but enough of them will. If you’re looking to have a spooky good time on Halloween night after the trick-or-treating is done, these are timeless horror classics that get the job done.

March Madness – Ten Great Psychological Horror Films

Originally, my monthly theme was March Madness, but I didn’t like the story. However, I already put together a list of my fave spooky movies about going insane. Is it all in their heads or is something more sinister afoot? Gotta watch to find out.
In keeping with the theme of March Mischief, I’m totally posting a March Madness movie list!🤪😄

7 Gifts That Don’t Suck for Vampire Fans

Kicking off the 2022 Christmas gift-giving guide season with 7 gifts that don’t suck for vampire fans. Vampire fans are a picky bunch and luckily, there are numerous gift ideas that will quench their bloodlust and won’t break the bank.

Bleeding Skull Candles

Bleeding candles are all the rage. Something Different Vampire Blood Tears out of the UK sells taper candles online or through Amazon, or you can try these bleeding skull candles from Gute, which look even cooler.

Bleeding skull candles from Gute

Gothic Black or Purple Damask Throw Pillows

These beautiful gothic throw pillows designed by Teri Sherman and sold through Redbubble are easy ways for vampire fans to goth up a regular couch or bed. Sold in black, purple, and red.

Coffin Ring

Nothing says I’ll love you forever like a coffin ring made of Onyx from Blood Milk Jewels. Of course, there are cheaper alternatives out there for people on a budget, or pricer options, for those looking to get even more serious.

Vampire Capes

Capes are in! Okay, well, long capes like this Black and Red Reversible Cape from the Pyramid Collection is still tricky fashion and better suited for costumes, but short black capes and ponchos are definitely a thing. They go with everything from little black dresses to jeans and boots, and they keep little black hearts warm.

Bela Lugosi Collection from Creepy Co.

Bela Lugosi has an entire line of officially licensed and trademarked clothing and merch sold online through Creepy Co., which offers a number of officially licensed horror collections. Thanks to his business savvy and vigilant family, Bela Lugosi is practically synonymous with his most famous role, Dracula, the 1931 film from Universal Pictures, and I’m all for keeping that legend going. From pins to patches, socks to t-shirts, and my personal favorite, the poster pajama set, surely there is something here for vampire fans of all ages and types.

Wine Gifts from Vampire Vineyards

Vampire Vineyard won the domain name game over vampire.com and successfully trademarked a number of vamp names and images to use with their brand. Their single wines come with a cute little Vampire Wine Cape and are actually quite tasty. Vampire offers a broad range of wine, food gifts, and other merch. Everyone knows wine is the true elixir of life, so vampire fans can relax with a bottle and stop worrying over whether their blood types match.

The Vampira Diaries, 1954-1956 Book by Jonny Coffin

Maila Nurmi a.k.a Vampira, the first inspiration for all the mistresses of the dark that followed, had a bit of a rough life and it’s hard to be supportive of her legacy when there’s next to no official merchandise out there. That’s why this limited edition pre-order coffee table book to celebrate her life is so important. Authored by the eccentric Jonny Coffin, creator of the original Coffin Case, this is a chance for fans to learn a little more about the Original Glamor Ghoul and it’s sold directly through her official shop run by her family, which is nice. I hope they can capitalize on Vampira’s popularity and run a successful store. Btw, I hear only 1000 hand-stamped books will exist, so they’re likely to sell out fast.

31 Days of Halloween 2022

Happy October! After starting late this Halloween season, I’m now ready to post the schedule of this year’s 31 Days of Halloween Celebration. The theme this October is dystopian Halloween. With the doomsday clock ticking down, it’s probably way past time to think about how humankind plans to survive the apocalypse, in particular, how we’ll preserve our traditions and holidays, like Halloween.

Part of the month, we’ll have some fun with the dystopian Halloween-horror theme, but I have decided to mix in some good old-fashion Halloween traditional themes as well, cuz, I just love talking about those Halloween memories.

Have a safe and happy Halloween season!

31 Days of Halloween Schedule

Monday Macabre
Mondays are always dedicated to Haiku, but every Monday in October we’ll explore a dystopian Halloween.

Tuesday Terror
Every Tuesday, I’ll share my favorite scary movies that I believe make great Halloween season viewing.

Wicked Art Wednesdays
Every Wednesday, I’ll share some spooktacular Halloween art with an apocalyptic twist. I might even post some my own original Halloween pencil stencil art.

Throwback Thursdays
Preservation of Halloween traditions is important for several reasons. Every Thursday, let’s explore the origins of some Halloween traditions and muse over whether these traditions might survive the apocalypse.

Friday Fright Nightcaps
Ghosts aren’t the only ones who like to get sheet-faced on Halloween. Check back every Friday for Halloween season-inspired cocktails.

Sinister Saturdays
In the past few years, Sinister Saturdays have always been dedicated to food and Halloween recipes.  The problem was, besides my being the worst cook in America, people are simply reluctant to let you share their recipes online, even if you give them complete credit and link back to their website. So, in the true spirit of Sinister Saturdays, we’re just going to let the demons loose that day and see what they come up with.

Poe Sundays
This year’s tribute to the master of macabre, Edgar Allan Poe, will feature my thoughts on the best Poe adaptations on film.

4th Annual Halloween Haiku Challenge 2022
#Halloweenhaikuchallenge

Share your most original or scariest visual Halloween Haiku photos during October for a chance to win some prizes.

More details about the haiku contest will be announced on October 18th.

Join in the fun, and follow me @Halloweenhorrorhaiku on Instagram and @Halloweenkristy on Twitter

Haiku of the Week

Our theme this month has been creatures of the deep. Here’s a sneak peek at the theme for August.

snapping lobster claws
no man quarrells with a queen
sea witches revenge

Haiku inspired by the Sea Witch, artwork by Ubergank aka Linus Pettersson.

To view more spectacular artwork by Linus Pettersson, follow him on Artstation at: https://www.artstation.com/linuspettersson or https://www.deviantart.com/ubergank

Haiku of the Week

The theme this month is a werewolf summer.

My poem is inspired by Joe Slucher’s artwork entitled Werewolf Camp.

Artwork by Joe Slucher

To view more artwork and purchase merchandise by the amazing fantasy and sci-fi illustrator Joe Slucher, please go here: https://www.joeslucher.com/

Cryptid Monster Marathon – Monstrous, The Retreat, and Dawn of the Beast Movie Reviews

After missing my own self-imposed deadlines in January and February, where I was to present a movie review for the month, I am determined not to miss March! Thus, I decided to triple down and do three movie reviews in celebration of our legendary creatures theme.

The truth is, earlier this March, I watched Dawn of the Beast, but it was only when I started writing the review did I realize the movie was actually the third cryptid monster film, following Monstrous and The Retreat, all directed by Bruce Wemple. Naturally, I had to watch the other two films.

Armed with a great love for campy horror films and his trusty cast of relative unknowns, New York director Bruce Wemple creates fresh horror that makes the socially conscious Gen Z crowd proud. All boxes checked. Wemple knows all the horror tropes, and these films felt like proper indie horror movies. There was decent acting, strong female characters, and lots of action. The camerawork makes good use of those shadows, close-up shots, and practical effects to perpetuate the scares and despite the low budget, the production quality was pretty good. I was even forgiving of the few man-in-a-monster-suit shots, which were super cheesy, but hey look, considering the third film was entirely developed during the pandemic, all of us should be impressed by that. I’ll be honest, I never gave much thought to Adirondack mountains before watching these films, and whatever location Wemple chose to shoot on location is some damn beautiful country. If I wasn’t so scared of the real Wendigo, I’d run out and buy a Winnebago.

The Retreat, 2020 (377 Films)

There’s a lot of good psychological horror here too, especially in the second film, The Retreat. The biggest flaw of this cryptid trilogy was the films suffered from having too much story. I guess having too much story is better than having no story, right? It’s just these long drawn out or overly heavy exposition scenes take away our monster time, and when you make a feature film starring these two legendary creatures, you have got to have more monster!!

I should also mention upfront, each of these movies is stand-alone. You’ll understand each of them on their own just fine, but movie marathons are so much more fun.

Continue reading “Cryptid Monster Marathon – Monstrous, The Retreat, and Dawn of the Beast Movie Reviews”

Sinister Saturday – Halloween Pasta/Monster Pasta

Every year, I see recipes for Halloween pasta using black squid ink pasta. It always looks so fun for this time of year. Pasta is typically a fast and easy meal to make, so, after years of thinking about it, I finally found a place that sells black squid ink pasta (Cost Plus) and decided to make my own version of Halloween Spaghetti Monster. The results were delicious, even if my pictures were complete fails. (Please don’t tell me it looks like a dog.)

Halloween Spaghetti Monster

Black Squid Ink Pasta is made from durum semolina wheat, water, and 1% squid ink. I was always nervous that it would taste fishy, but that’s not the case. Instead, it tastes just like bland wheat pasta. The creepiest thing about black squid ink pasta is the boiling water turns a deep charcoal color and look like slimy worms once drained.

Ingredients:

1 pkg Plain Spaghetti
1 pkg Black Squid Ink Pasta
1 jar Traditional Marinara or Pasta Sauce
Black Olives (1/2 cut for monster nose and mouth)
Green Olives (for monster eyes)
Dash of Parmesan Cheese

Sauce Instructions:

  • For best results, follow instructions on jar
  • Add sauce to crock pot along with 1 tablespoon of olive oil
  • Cook for 3 hours on high/1 hour on low

Pasta Instructions:

  • For best results, follow instructions on pasta packages
  • Cook both pastas in separate big pots full of lightly salted water
    1. Spaghetti for 12-14 min
    2. Black squid ink pasta for 7-9 min (takes slightly less than regular pasta)
  • Drain water and return to the pots
  • Serve in bowl and add pasta sauce
  • Use olives to make monster face
Classic Black Halloween Spaghetti

All reheats nicely with a little tab of butter. Happy Halloween!

Haiku of the Week

Our theme this month is campfire creatures.

musty pine cabin
a beast roams the campgrounds
summer’s first moon