There’s only a few days left in June, but Summer’s just getting started. Don’t let soaring temps ruin your spooky fun! There’s no better way to celebrate than by firing up the BBQ, mixing up the sangria, chilling in your favorite collapsible chair, while watching these amazing summer camp horror movies!
Friday the 13th The Ritual Tucker and Dale vs Evil The Cabin in the Woods Evil Dead II Eden Lake In a Violent Nature The Blair Witch Project Wrong Turn Cabin Fever Sleepaway Camp Significant Other Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight
Happy Summer Solstice! Werewolf summer returns and the beasts of washignton are on the prowl. They may very well be the scariest most evil monsters on the planet.
summer cherries old beasts sniffing around in search of victims
As Cemetery Appreciation month comes to a close, this is the last weekend to enjoy spring flowers peeking out between the tombstones, but don’t worry, you can still enjoy these scary movies featuring the scariest cryptkeepers, creepy coroners, grave diggers, and murderous morticians all year round!
Horror’s Best Cryptkeepers and Graveyard Ghouls
12. Coroners Tommy and Austin from Autopsy of Jane Doe, 2016
Not all coroners in horror movies are bad people. Some just don’t know when to stop poking around in someone else’s cursed business, despite clear warnings to do so.
11. Ernie from Return of the Living Dead, 1985
Say what you want about Burt’s long-standing pal Ernie’s willingness to help destroy evidence that he started the zombie apocalypse, but any BFF willing to help you shoot the rabid weasels first instead of burning them alive in his crematorium and then fight off brain-eating zombies is a keeper!
10. Francesco Dellamorte from Cemetery Man, 1994
Fighting zombies and searching for love is full-time job for a Cemetery man with few friends. Between the stress of the job and losing the new love of his life, reality starts to slip for this lonely grave warden, who turns his attention to killing town locals instead.
9. Raymond of The Mortuary Assistant, 2025
Honestly, I haven’t finished this one yet, but setting up your morgue assistant to spend the rest of their life fighting demons is a pretty shitty thing to do, not to mention all the labor laws that were broken!
8. Leslie of Mortuary, 2005
By the time unsuspecting Leslie moves her family across the nation to take over as doomed mortician in a small town mortuary with cursed past history, the property had already been overrun by demonic forces. Poor lady had no chance, but there was no reason to torture her by showing off her lack of culinary skills.
7. Cryptkeeper from Tales of the Crypt, 1972
Dull but mysterious, this 1970s British very much alive Cryptkeeper helped a group of strangers get lost in the catacombs and showed them creepy visions of theirs death, only for them to figure out, they’re already home.
6. The Coroner from Play Dead, 2022
Word of advice, if you aren’t dead yet, don’t pretend to be so and get yourself locked up in the morgue. These places are a lot more secure than they look and besides, it’s not the dead who will be after you.
5. Montgomery Dark & Sam from The Mortuary Collection, 2019
4. Mortician William “JB” Bludworth from Final Destination series
Mysterious and a tad bit nilihilistic, Mr. Bludworth knows death, personally, but what he knows better than anyone is that there is no escaping death’s plan. Death always finds a way.
3. Mr. Simms, Tales from the Hood, 1995
Three hoodlums find out the hard way that death ain’t not joke, when a creepy funeral owner leads them through the parlor and down to the caskets to retrieve their cursed contraband, but the patiently sinister Mr. Simms as it turns out, has been waiting for them for a very long time.
2. The Tall Man from Phantasm, 1979
Honestly, the Tall Man is the scariest cryptkeeper on this list, a once mild-mannered mortician has morphed into the one of horror’s most sinister inter-dimensional time-traveling supervillains, with his wicked flying spheres that cause violent death and destruction and creepy little minions to do his bidding.
The Tall man is on a neverending quest to become the Lord of the Dead and this geriatric creep will stop at nothing to achieve his goals. Men, women, children, he’s out to collect the souls of every living creature on the planet and then some. With the ability to command legions of Hell’s undead, Death should just move over and give The Tall Man the title.
1. Cryptkeeper from Demon Knight, Bordello of Blood and Tales of the Crypt series, 1980-1990s
Across 93 episodes and two feature horror films, this legendary wisecracking teller of terrors is no mere narrator, he’s our demon guide through the depths of hell and is more than happy to show what death has in store for us. Based off the long-standing EC comics from the 1950s with same name, there is no smarter, spookier and funnier horror host than the Cryptkeeper.
His wit and charm edged out the Tall Man to be named best of our list, but don’t think that means the Cryptkeeper isn’t a scary dude. With untold supernatural powers of his own, this undead ghoul has the ability to cause mortal danger to any boils and ghouls who haven’t learned their moral lesson. Be kind and respectful of your fellow humans and the undead or you will spend your eternity in agonizing pain and misery.
From Black Sunday’s vengeful Princess Asa Vajda, seeking retribution against the descendants of her treacherous brother to the ill-fated family in Hereditary, whose souls were already promised to a demon, witches come in many forms. Some are good, some are bad, and some are just really really angry.
The Wretched
There’s no order to today’s list, these witches are hangry, vengeful, spiteful, or all of the above! I loved the witches in every one of these movies. Many titles show up on previous horror movie lists I’ve made, but I have to point out two new film faves.
The first is Weapons and Amy Madigan’s Oscar winning role of Gladys, pure nightmare fuel, such brilliance. After the shock of realizing who the real villain in the story was, I was terrified every minute the red wigged clown face was on screen. I look forward to seeing more of her in upcoming Gladys sequel.
Oscar Winner Amy Madigan in Weapons, Warner Bros.
The other new movie is The Witch: Revenge, a low-budget indie horror from Ukraine, released in 2024 and set at the start of Putin’s invasion of Ukraine just two years prior, filmmakers actually collected uniforms of real Russian invaders and used them as costumes for their cast. While the bad guys are wildly over the top and their dialogue is on the nose, it’s not a stretch to believe the Russian army is mindlessly raping and killing innocent civilians. It’s a moody, atmospheric witch movie, and while not exactly a rousing crowd pleaser, these guys all deserved what was coming to them. This is a good little witch flick and it deserves more eyeballs.
The Witch: Revenge now showing on Tubi
13 witchy films you need to see right now!
Black Sunday (1960) Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016) Drag Me to Hell (2009) The Conjuring (2013) Gretel & Hansel (2020) The Last Witch Hunter (2015) The Witch: Revenge (2024) Hellbender (2021) The Blair Witch Project (1999) Suspiria (2023) Hereditary (2018) VVitch (2015) Weapons (2025)
Remember, there’s no going back once you cross a vengeful witch. Madness, mayhem, death and destruction are coming your way.
I cannot believe it’s been 8 years. I know, I haven’t been writing much in the last year. It’s been tough to find time, and honestly, to even feel creative some days, with so much negativity and uncertainty in the world. I hate what’s happening to our country and loathe the evil criminals in charge. Who needs scary movies when the real life horrors are neverending.
But, as I stated many times, this isn’t a political blog, it’s a Halloween blog, and a safe space for like-minded individuals. I just want to celebrate and share my love for Halloween, horror and all things spooky.
Save the earth! It’s the only planet with pumpkins!
My haiku comes straight out of my own little noggin. There’s no AI use here for my poetry or words. These poems, good and bad, are all mine and I’ve got receipts! I’m honestly a little scared about how AI might affect Halloween 2026. Sometimes it’s cool and sometimes it’s slop. At first, I gave it a chance, but I’m beginning to see the danger it poses, especially to the climate. So, I’ve decided to go AI free this Halloween season!
The one thing I’ve been slacking on this year is movie lists. If you’re looking for horror movie suggestions, I make lists that I’ve curated myself, meaning I spent hours watching and rewatching to see if I want to add said movie to my list. Last year was a banner year for horror and my own list of favorite horror movies has expanded. I’m gonna put a new spooky list up soon so check back!
Gladys from Zach Cregger’s Weapons played by Oscar winner Amy Madigan
I want to thank you for stopping by my little blog and giving your attention, time and energy. I hope you enjoyed reading my haiku and my old blog posts, some of which still hold up, like the one below:
April is the halfway point to Halloween! It’s also Earth Month. The easiest way to celebrate both is too plant new pumpkins for the upcoming Halloween season!
blue skies and white clouds planting jack o lanterns from seed to smile
March has been a little rough, but I have a new haiku to share, celebrating both St. Patrick’s Day and the recent horror show that is the United States. Not everything that glitters is gold.
beware the trickster whose only concern is gold death is imminent
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