Monthly Haiku Corner – September

Welcome back Ber months! The most memorable time of the year returns and Halloween season is underway. This month’s theme is Spooky September. I’m working on Fall bucket list and a photo challenge to share later this month. Please join me over on Instagram to share in the fun.

One thing that’s always on the Fall bucket list is watching scary movies. After revisting the entire Alien catalog in August, I decided to check out some other spooky sci-fi movies and ended up rewatching last year’s No One Will Save You on Hulu. It was a little cookie cutter, but otherwise well executed and inspired today’s haiku.

two deep set black eyes
staring from the corner
no sudden moves

Best Deaths in the Alien Movies

There have been a lot deaths in the past 45 years, between 7 movies in the Alien franchise. I excluded the two vs. The Predator due to time constraints, but it feels like those movies should have their own list anyway.

It may seem a bit morbid to cheer on death scenes, but who doesn’t love a great villain, or a great hero, depending where your love for the Xenomorphs lie. Besides, some knucklehead characters definitely deserved to have their faces melted off.

Every fan has their favorites, but these are my picks for most memorable deaths in th Alien Franchise:

Picking up immediately after the sequel, Alien 3 starts out with the tragic demise of survivors Newt and Hicks by a stowaway chestburster. Ripley survives, but the ship crash lands on Fiorina 161, a planet housing a penal colony for violent male criminals. The alien, now a quadrapedal runner continues its rampage after the stowaway chestburster morphs with a dog named Spike. At some point, Ripley realizes the reason she’s been surviving all these attacks is because she’s hosting a queen alien embryo, something that apparently happened during thrilling finale fight with the Queen Mother in Aliens.

Faced with a grave choice, Ripley eventually chooses to throw herself into the furnace to end the Queen’s hopes in keeping her species alive. It’s the kind of sacrifice we expect from one of cinema’s greatest heroines, but it was still sad and shocking to let Ripley go after cheering her on for three whole movies.

Alien Covenant saw the return of Alien creator and Director Ridley Scott who expanded the Xenomorph universe and attempted to answer the burning questions left by Promethesus. In a brief flashback scene, we see the synth David, who now believes himself a god, in pursuit of the perfect organism, unleash the terrible black goo on the unsuspecting engineers, wiping out the entire colony in mere seconds. If this isn’t an indicator that AI can’t be trusted, I don’t know what is.

Michael Fassbender as synthetic android David 8 with a god complex.

Set 200 years after Alien 3, Ripley is back, but this time as a cloned human-Xenomorph hybrid named Ripley8. Turns out the military has been doing experiments with Ripley’s blood and Xenomorph DNA in its lifelong search to create the perfect super soldier. Sadly, it took 8 interations before getting a decent clone of the original Ripley, and who knows how many failures.

Ripley8 comes across the ship lab and can barely control her emotions when viewing some of those failed abominations that came before her. She finds a badly disfigured mutant hybrid Ripley7 still alive but begging to be killed. Someone hands Ripley8 a flamethrower and she destroys every tortured creature in the entire room, providing the only decent scene in the entire movie. Well, at least until evil Dr. Wren loses his head (see best death #3).

After losing the protection of the space marines, Ripley and the lone colonist survivor Newt are on the run trying to escape. A wrong turn leads Ripley right smack into the Hive Monarch, the Queen Mother, and a brood of freshly laid eggs. Ripley blasts the flamethrower over the tops of the eggs as a warning, scaring the Queen Mother into telepathically communicating with the other grown Xenomorphs to back off and let them go, however, just as Ripley and Newt are in the clear, a pod opens. Knowing full well what comes next, Ripley uses the flamethrower to destroy the entire nest, infuriating the Queen Mother, and setting up one of greatest showdowns in cinema history.

Set after the events of first Alien film, Weyland-Yutani finds the wreckage of the Nostromo and collects a Xenomorph cocoon. Months later, a group of space miners led by Rain (inspired by Ripley heroine) who is shepparded over by a synth named Andy. The miners decide to improve their lives by raiding what they think is an empty space station, except it’s not. It’s filled all kinds of aliens, from facehuggers to warrior Xenomorphs, and while the crew manages to snag a good haul, no one is gonna collect a big payday if they don’t escape the ship. One by one, the miners are picked off.

Cailee Spaeny picks up the reins in Alien reboot.

After surviving an attack, a pregnant miner named Kay, against Andy android’s advice, chooses to inject herself with mysterious black goo, hoping it will only heal her wounds, but this black goo is actually filled with Queen alien DNA! Now, anyone who saw Alien: Covenant knows this is gonna get bad. Kay gives birth to the stuff of nightmares and this creature wastes no time trying to get a little protein from mama. I dont want to spoil anymore. Just know that motherhood is a killer.

A planet dedicated to violent inmates, sounds like a dream (that’s sarcasm, kids). With a demanding movie studio hellbent on capitalizing off the success of the action packed Aliens, young budding Director David Fincher only had to produce enough blood, guts, and acid baths to repeat box office numbers. Unfortunately that led to Fincher completely disavowing his own film and he might not have it wrong. Alien 3 is pretty abysmal and one of the most openly talked about problematic movie shoots in history. One of most glaring problems was the characters were all unredeemable bad guys, totally unlikable, uninteresting, and completely expendable. To no one’s surprise, the Xenomorphs become every bit the heroes that Ripley was.

Luckily, the movie did have some entertaining deaths, like when inmate Thomas Murphy looks for his missing dog Spike down a dark hole. Spike is a goner, and the inmate gets a face full of acid from fidomorph, but that’s not what kills him. Gravity sucks the man down into one of those giant industrial fans, and viola, memorable death scene #5.

After touching down on Origae-6, Security detail Ledward joins the expeditionary team to investigate their surroundings. It doesnt take long before Ledward gets exposed to black fungal spores and immediately fall ill.

Back in medbay, we learn those spores bore an alien organism that has been growing inside of Ledward, but instead of exiting through the chest like a normal chestburster, this alien came out Ledward’s back! It was particularly gruesome and shocking death, if nothing else because it changed 3 decades worth of knowledge about chestbursters. I guess we do learn something new every day.

ALIEN: COVENANT

In each Alien movie, there’s always at least one jerk, human or synth, who truly deserves a gory, nasty end of life, and in the 4th installment of Alien franchise, that jerk is Dr. Mason Wren, a manical military scientist who mixed Ripley’s DNA with Xenomorph DNA and tortured his subjects for years. While attempting to escape the Xenomorphs, Wren takes another crew member Call hostage, just as Purvis, one of Wren’s recent test subjects, realizes his own end is nye because he’s been impregnated by a facehugger. Purvis attacks Dr. Wren in a frenzy and when the chest burster arrives, let’s just say we get a two for one and it felt like justice was served.

When fellow crew member Ash attacks and sabotages Ripley’s efforts to kill the alien, Parker steps in, fights and decapitates him. Only then do they realize Ash is really a synth! The betrayal runs deeper than that though, after reconnecting the head to get some answers, Ripley and Parker learn Ash has been directed by their evil employer Weyland-Yutani Corporation to bring back the alien organism for study, even if it means sacrificing the crew. As they leave, Parker takes a flamethrower to Ash for good measure, ensuring the robot doesn’t interfere with their escape plan, and honestly, it’s one of the most satisfying deaths in the entire franchise.

One of cinema’s most shocking moments was the death of Kane, Commander of the ill-fated USCSS Nostromo, after being impregnated by an alien organism, now affectionately known as a facehugger. Up until that moment, we were just an innocent unsuspecting audience watching some unlucky space crew eat dinner, after answering a distress call from a derelict spaceship and finding nothing but creepiness. The emergence of new parasitic creature chest bursting into our consciousness totally rocked our world.

Even today, some 45 years later, that scene still terrifies new audiences. Chestburster deaths have been included in every film since and it never gets old; it’s never not a gory surprise and that’s why the very first death in Alien, is the most memorable death in the entire franchise.

Monthly Haiku Corner – August

Happy August! We’re getting very close to the Halloween season. July was a shitshow and I’d like very much to leave the month behind. I promise more social media interaction, a recap of my time from Midsummer Scream along with lots of pictures, and an entertaining movie list for August.

This month’s theme is August Aliens. In celebration of Alien: Romulus from legendary Director and Producer Ridley Scott, which is the latest installment set in the Alien universe, one of my favorite franchises of all time. This month, I’ll pay tribute to the Xenomorph lore and also the dark fantastical artwork of beloved Swiss Artist and Designer H.R. Giger, original creator of Xenomorphs. Giger and the design and special affects team won an Academy Award for the sci-fi horror spectacle Alien, 1979.

dark corridors
alien lifeform unleashed
terror in deep space

Artwork by H.R. Giger. To see more wonders of Giger’s macabre biomechanical world and learn about this legendary artist, please visit H.R. Giger Museum.

Monthly Haiku Corner – June

Happy Summerween! June is beach-going weather. June is creature feature time! Actually, I despise hot temps, so you won’t catch me down by the ocean past 10am. I prefer air conditioned movie theaters and I know what lurks in the chemically-altered plastic-filled nuclear waters. So, I dedicate this month to all the monsters, the werewolves, vampires, zombies, Jaws, Piranha, the kaiju, like Godzilla, Ghidorah, King Kong, all the eldritch horror of Lovecraft and the monsterous creations from the King of B-roll, Roger Corman, who passed away last month at the tender age of 98. May he long rest in peace. Halloween is creeping into retail stores and this season is gonna be big! I can feel it.

something sinister
lurks beneath the water
Summerween

Merry & Frightful Holiday Horror: Spooky Movies to Watch Christmas Weekend

Happy Friday! Christmas Day is three days away and whether you’re done shopping or just getting started, you need some good movies to take your mind off the stress of the horrordays! You gotta hand it to Santa and Krampus, these two guys are quite decisive about that naughty and nice list. You’re on one or the other, but never both!
So, to celebrate Creepmas, and, in keeping with our Merry & Fright theme of traditional Christmas with spooky vibes, I compiled a list of holiday horror where we can cheer on the good guys and the bad guys who get chopped up into tiny pieces!

Nightmare Before Christmas
Gremlins
Krampus
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
Deadly Games
A Christmas Horror Story
Silent Night, Deadly Night
Black Christmas (1974 version)

Spooky Book Lovers Gift Guide

If you’re looking for great books to gift your spooky loved ones this season, keep reading!

Most of these suggested books I own myself or totally plan on buying. I love classic horror by all the greats and I’m also proud to support indie writers and I hope you will too. I’ve marked the ones available in digital format that make great last-minute gifts or stocking stuffers.

Best Indie Urban Paranormal so real you might go looking for these people and places series:

Consumia’s Spiritual Emporium, Book I of the Omnist Series by Rob Weldon* – $6, $16, $26; Digital, paperback, hardback and other formats available via Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Best Monster Fantasy Turned into a Video Game and Hit TV Show Series:

Blood of Elves, Book I of the Witcher Saga by Andrzej Sapkowski* – $9, $12, $25, $60; Digital, paperback, hardback and other formats available (Complete Boxset shown in image below) via Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Best Steamy Indie Paranormal Romance:

Hex and the Single Witch by Roxanne Rhoads – $12 paperback via Amazon

Best Indie Fantasy-Horror-SciFi:

Cast a Cold Eye by Derryl Murphy and William Shunn* – $2, $35 Kindle and hardback via Amazon

Best Classic Halloween Story:

The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury* $5, $15; Digital, paperback, hardback and other formats available via Amazon or Barnes and Noble

Best Fun-Sized Stories to get you into the Halloween spirit:

We Bleed Orange & Black: 31 Fun Sized Tales for Halloween by Jeff Carter* – $7 paperback via Amazon

Best Comprehensive Halloween History book I can’t wait to own:

The Better Days Books Vintage Halloween Reader by Various authors – $23 paperback via Amazon

Best and Fastest Way to Understanding Halloween Folklore and Traditions:

Creating Your Vintage Hallowe’en: The folklore, traditions, and some crafty makes by Marion Paull – $15 hardback via Amazon

Best Compact Taschen Icons Picturebook:

Halloween: Vintage Holiday Graphics Edited by Jim Heimann, Forward by Steven Heller – $17 paperback via Thriftbooks

Most Comprehensive, Deluxe Hardback Halloween Picturebook Collection:

Vintage Hallowe’en: Tricks, Treats & Traditions by Robert Pandis – $75 hardback

This sought after vintage Halloween picturebook is typically sold out, but I included it here because sometimes you can find it selling on secondhand markets online.

Best Someday I’m gonna own that Book:

Dracula,1897, 1st edition by Bram Stoker – $200-37,000

If you ever come across an ugly little book that looks like this, keep it!!!

*Makes a great last-minute gift or stocking stuffer!

Thursday Terror – Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde

Hammer’s unique story mash up between Burke and Hare cases, legendary serial killer Jack the Ripper, and Robert Louis Stevenson’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a mesmorizing gender-bender thriller.

Set in infamous Whitechapel at the height of Jack the Ripper’s murderous spree, Dr. Henry Jekyll (Ralph Bates) hell-bent on his quest for immortality, crosses moral barriers with his experiments.

At first, the young doctor pays a local mortician to acquire body parts of newly-deceased women who end up in the morgue, but when supplies run low, the doctor enlists the grisly services of two lowly gentleman, Burke and Hare, who indiscriminately kill unsuspecting victims and bring their dead bodies to Dr. Jekyll.

But Dr. Jekyll’s serum has unintended consequences, when it transforms his own body into the body of a beautiful woman, who he eventually names Mrs. Hyde (Martine Beswick). He tells his noisy neighbors, including his admirer Susan (Susan Brodrick), that the alluring woman now living with him is his recently widowed sister.

Between The Ripper and Burke and Hare, the city of Whitechapel is gripped by fear. Someone eventually finds out about deadly duo’s murderous deeds and they succomb to the town’s pitchfork. This leaves Dr. Jekyll at a disadvantage, just as he was making progress with his serum.

Sister Hyde quickly realizes her demise is tied to Dr. Jekyll’s  research, so she begins stalking the dark alleys of Whitechapel herself for young female victims to murder in the name of science.

Back in 1971, the idea of a man transforming into a woman was really taboo stuff. For some moviegoers, that in of itself was the horror. Despite the obvious misogynistic horror trope of making every other woman who appears on a screen a victim, this film really pioneered LGBTQ and woman empowerment themes.

Martine Beswick really stands out here with her cutthroat and sensual performance as Sister Hyde. She’s one spooky bitch, and probably deserves a little more attention in the pantheon of horror villains. If you’re new to Hammer Horror, definitely give this wickedly smart thriller a watch.

Of Beaches and Monsters

‘Ber months may start tomorrow, but Summer isn’t over just yet. There’s still 23 days left to celebrate Summerween. I couldn’t decide which is scarier, horror films featuring spooky cabins or mysterious beaches. So, here’s a double list with the best of both worlds. From creature features to crazed killers, you can find all of these films streaming somewhere. Let me know which list you think has the scariest movies.

Best Nautical Horror Movies

Happy Summer! Tis the season for visiting the beach and taking boat rides across the seven seas. The theme this month has been June Doom and as recent events has shown us (orca boat attacks, lost Titanic sub, etc.), the ocean is still the Earth’s most dangerous playground. But, for as much as I love Jaws, shark horror is a dime a dozen, so I decided to go in a slightly different direction by sharing my picks of the best nautical horror that doesn’t involve sharks. From vengeful spirits to alien creatures hiding in the depths of the trenches, this list will give you plenty of reasons to stay on dry land. Check them out and leave me comment here or on Instagram to let me know what you thought.

It Came From Beneath the Sea, 1955
The Fog, 1980
Deep Rising, 1998
Leviathan, 1989
Deep Star Six, 1989
Below, 2002
Ghost Ship, 2002
Underwater, 2020

My Favorite Mutant Monster Movies

Speaking of mutations, a recent bout with Covid has been keeping me down, so I wasn’t able to write a proper movie post this month. I may still sneak one in.

Just trust me, this is a great list of the best mutant monster movies you’ll find on streaming.👾🕷☢️