Sinister Saturdays- Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum Review

Title: Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum
Director: Jung Bum-shik
Starring: Wi Ha-joon, Park Sung-hoon, Ji-Hyun Park
Distributed by: Showbox
Running Time: 1 hour 35 minutes

I found this South Korean ghost flick while strolling through Tubi the the other day. Korean horror cinema is known for its bleak and tragic outcomes and this one was right on point.

Inspired by a real CNN travel story that named Gonjiam one of seven freakiest places on Earth, Director Jung Bum-shik crafts a story of a web series film crew live streaming their visit to the abandoned South Korean asylum, in hopes to make big money, only to find it plagued with demonic forces.

The movie starts with a motley group answering an ad posted by Youtube owner Ha-joon for “Horror Times” to shoot a live-streamed event held at the long abandoned and haunted Gonjiam, the site where dozens of curious trespassers and self-proclaimed ghost hunters have disappeared from. Room 402 in particular is so haunted, no one can even open the door. The controversial mental hospital had closed after the death of its pioneer director, who mysteriously killed herself. Rumor was, the asylum was actually a place designed to torture and kill political prisoners.

Now, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from decades of watching paranormal films, is that ghosts don’t like liars and fakers, but what they hate most of all is being disrespected and underappreciated. Basically, all ghosts act like teenage girls.

Despite the natural setting of an abandoned hospital, the film crew’s captain, played by Wi Ha-joon from Squid Game fame, decides to trick audiences by setting up fake shots of “haunted activity”. Ugh! Ha-joon sets up camp a half mile down the road to control the broadcasts, all while directing his crew to film and go where he wants.

Well, dude, the spirits see your creepy doll and motion detector lights, and raise you wheelchairs that move on their own, ghastly ping pong balls, and changing wall messages from “let’s live” to “let’s die”.

As the exploring crew go deeper and deeper into the hospital, their experiences with the former residents increase enough to spook them out and they all try to flee. It doesnt take long for them to find out though, once you’re admitted to Gonjiam, there’s no escape.

Gonjiam is a mix of standard horror fare and hand-held camera footage, which provides the most scares. The formulaic film relies heavily on the dark atmosphere and jump scares, but honestly, there’s not enough of them to make this film stand out. That said, it’s not the worst way to spend the evening.

Scariest scene:
Crew member Charlotte finds herself locked in Room 402 with a ghost of a naked man.

Thursday Terror – The Satanic Rites of Dracula

Part spy thriller, part goth horror, all parts 1970s grooviness, complete with sherpa vests, The Satanic Rites of Dracula takes place two years after Dracula, A.D. 1972. An undercover cop for Scotland Yard barely escapes the clutches of an evil mysterious cult in London.

In his dying last breaths, the agent recalls witnessing the horrifying bloody ritual sacrifice of a beautiful young naked woman, seen in secret photo evidence that he smuggled out of the compound.

With their colleague dead, Inspector Murray and Scotland Yard are at a loss for answers, so they call on Professor Van Helsing and his scholarly granddaughter Jessica to help decipher the satanic symbols and identify cult members.

While Inspector Murray, Jessica, and others go to the compound to dig around, Van Helsing reaches out to an old friend he recognized in the photos, with hopes of infiltrating the satanic cult made up of government officials hellbent on destroying the world and bringing back the Prince of Darkness.

Christopher Lee returns for his 7th and final performance as Count Dracula for Hammer Films. Also reprising their roles, Peter Cushing starring as Professor Lorrimer Van Helsing (a descendant of Dr. Abraham Van Helsing) and Michael Coles as Inspector Murray; and a young and absolutely fabulous Joanna Lumely shines brightly as Jessica Van Helsing, the woman Dracula hopes to make his new bride.

A heavily edited version of Satanic Rites of Dracula was redistributed in the U.S. in 1979 as Count Dracula and His Vampire Bride. You will find it streaming under that name on Plex, a free streaming service with an overwhelming ton of ads.

Sinister Saturdays- Lake Mungo Review

Title: Lake Mungo
Director: Joel Anderson
Starring: Rosie Traynor, Talia Zucker, David Pledger, Martin Sharper
Distributed by: Arclight Films
Running Time: 88 minutes

Since its release in 2008, the psychological thriller Lake Mungo consistently shows up in peoples’ top scary movies you’ve never seen lists. This was originally a movie that I skipped back in the day because it was a found footage horror like mega-hits The Blair Witch, 1999, or Paranormal Activity, 2007. Although hugely popular, I thought slow-burn, hand-held shaky cam stylized horror films had oversaturated the market in the 2000s and I grew tired of them. The only found footage gem to come from that era was the 2007 Spanish zombie film Rec.

Instead of in-your-face jump scares, slow-burn horror movies move at a snail’s pace and build up all the tension up front, usually for an hour and a half, all for one big giant scary payoff at the end. It’s a film technique that flat-out doesn’t work for some horror fans, particularly any with attention deficit disorders. After finding Lake Mungo on good ole Tubi, I decided to give it a try. After getting over my usual gripes about slow-burn, found-footage films, I began to appreciate Lake Mungo for what the film was really selling, death and existential dread.

The movie starts with a typical Australian middle-class family living in Victoria suburbia of Ararat, explaining through documentary-style interviews and shared family and police photos and videos, how the recent mysterious loss of their teenage daughter Alice has devastated their family.

Watching a family grieve is never fun. Audiences are immediately thrust into one family’s nightmare scenario and it’s here where the excellent casting becomes one of the most brilliant things about Lake Mungo. Thanks to these strong unassuming low-key performances, the beginning is utterly depressing. It feels like you’re watching a documentary about a real family mourning their daughter, sister, and friend, a beautiful, cheerful girl living what we think is the perfect life. The painful agony of tragically losing a loved one hits hard, yet, boredom might set in for anyone who hasn’t experienced any such loss.

Eventually, evil starts to seep into the family’s photographs and found footage as the movie progresses. Through police photos, we learn what Alice’s father Russell saw when he identified Alice’s body but Alice’s mother June couldn’t bring herself to look, which leads to her not finding closure. Later, a particularly agonizing stunt pulled by her grieving son Matthew, who is also dealing with his sister’s death in a different way, prompts June to begin questioning whether her daughter is actually dead.

In her quest, June meets a psychic Ray who may hold the key to understanding Alice’s untimely demise. June and the family uncover truths about Alice’s double life and clues leading them back to the source of evil at Lake Mungo.

In his feature-length writing and directorial debut, Joel Anderson makes all the smart choices in mixing documentary-style interviewing, showing photographs, and found footage video to tell his story. While some shots are repeated, and there are a few red herrings, no scene is wasted. You’re constantly fed new information and you’ll start scouring the screen looking for ghosts or signs of the paranormal. The tension towards the end is agony because you know something is not right, but you’re not sure what it is. Be sure to watch through the credits as the extra photos confirm paranormal evidence.

Scariest scene:
Near the end, the big reveal of what Alice saw at Lake Mungo. It’s a subtle scare, one that takes a while for you to get creeped out.

Thursday Terror – Brides of Dracula

Legendary screen actor Peter Cushing reprises his role as Professor Van Helsing in Brides of Dracula, a sequel to the popular Hammer film, Horror of Dracula.

Count Dracula is dead, but his disciples live on, terrorizing Transylvania, all thanks to a young school mistress Marianne Danielle, played by Yvonne Monlaur, traveling to a small village to teach girls French and etiquette.

After her stagecoach mysteriously rides away leaving her stranded, Marianne meets the Baroness Meinster and agrees to stay the night in her castle.

Marianne sees a strange man in the chamber across from hers. In the middle of the night, she sneaks over and finds that the man is actually the Baroness’ son and her host keeps him locked up.

Ignorant to the dangers, she helps Baron Meinster escape and unknowingly releases a monster.

The undead Baron wrecks havoc on the local village, but thankfully, infamous vampire hunter Van Helsing, who has been called upon by a local priest, is back to save the day!

Released in 1960, Brides of Dracula was directed by Terence Fisher, a frequent collaborator and director of Hammer films. Despite losing the charismatic Christopher Lee as the titular character, Hammer had vision to expand the vampire universe and this was their first film doing so. I’ve read online that the production was plagued with problems, but totally worth it, as this is one of best Hammer films I’ve seen.

Brides of Dracula is now streaming on Prime Video with paid subscription.

Halloween Schedule 2023

**PROGRAM UPDATE 10-07-23: Due to a malfunctioning oven, I will not be able whip up recipes for Sinister Saturdays as promised. So instead, I’ll do something little more in my wheelhouse, scary movie reviews. Every Saturday in October will now be dedicated to reviewing a scary paranormal movie.**

Happy Autumn! Don’t be scared, but October is exactly one week away!

Earlier this year, Halloween Horror Haiku celebrated its 5th anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been 5 years already. It hasn’t always been easy, especially these days when work consumes most of my life, but I’m still enjoying writing haiku and sharing in the spirit of Halloween. That’s why instead of easing up, I’m forging ahead with a 31-day plan to celebrate Halloween 2023!

Be sure to check in every day in October for cool, fun, and inspirational Halloween artwork, haiku, poems, stories, and PRIZES!!! That’s right, I’m giving away a ton of cool prizes this year, but you must be a follower of Halloween Horror Haiku, either here on WordPress or Instagram (click the links to join me).

HALLOWEEN SCHEDULE 2023

Monday Macabre

Our theme this month is A Haunted Halloween. What’s Halloween without a visit to a haunted house? New haiku will be posted every Monday and will connect to tell an overarching story.

Trick or Treat Tuesdays

Play spooky games and win spooky prizes, every Tuesday this October.

Wicked Art Wednesdays

Every Wednesday, I’ll showcase original Halloween art that most represents our theme of “A Haunted Halloween” from the world’s most talented artists.

Thursday Terror

Every Thursday, let’s travel back and revisit the scariest films to come out of the golden age of Hammer Horror.

Friday Fright Nightcaps

What did the ghost say to the bartender? More boos, please!
Grab your cauldron, it’s the return of Friday Fright Nightcaps!

Sinister Saturdays

Join me in my own personal dungeon in hell, y’all might know as the kitchen, as I share some spooook-tacular recipes to die for every Saturday, and post pics and videos of my follies. This could be the scariest day on the schedule, folks (definitely the funniest)!

Spooky Sundays

Spooky Sundays are for reading, relaxing, and recharging our brooms.

5th Annual Halloween Haiku Challenge
#Halloweenhaikuchallenge

Share your most original or scariest Halloween Haiku during the month of October for a chance to win a witchy prize pack!

I’ve got a great grand prize for the top winner this year and lots of cool stickers for runner-ups. More details will be announced!

Don’t forget to follow Halloweenhorrorhaiku on social media: Instagram, Threads, and Pinterest.

Have a faboooooo-lous Halloween season, everyone!

Of Beaches and Monsters

‘Ber months may start tomorrow, but Summer isn’t over just yet. There’s still 23 days left to celebrate Summerween. I couldn’t decide which is scarier, horror films featuring spooky cabins or mysterious beaches. So, here’s a double list with the best of both worlds. From creature features to crazed killers, you can find all of these films streaming somewhere. Let me know which list you think has the scariest movies.

Haiku of the Week

Part II of Summerween series.

sand between my toes
waiting for the tide to come
gothic beach party

American Ghoul – Ten Best American Zombie Films

As July ends, so does our tribute to the red, white, and ghoul. Many of us wonder what we’d do in an apocalypse. How long would we survive? Would we lose our humanity or becomes the heroes we crave to be? Truth is, we’re already creating a nightmare dystopian society, casting aside freedoms and replacing them with fearmongering, discrimination, intolerance, and violence.

Back in 1968, George A. Romero foresaw this great nation descending into chaos as gun culture and extremist ideals gained more popularity because of easy access to guns and lack of education. He saw a nation at war with itself long before the monsters showed up. His movies often contained scathing critiques of class warfare, over-militarization, moral corruption, and empty consumerism, all of which Americans still suffer greatly today.

Dawn of the Dead, 1978

Romero may have been psychic, as he didn’t think adding zombies would really change the American landscape all that much and I tend to agree. If we continue down this treacherous path, we won’t have much further to fall. The day Americans unite may very well be the day they drop the bomb.

George A. Romero

There’s one thing for certain though, you can count on the fight in America. Even the quietest, most gunshy American has a sense of revolution instilled in their soul. Communists, terrorists, extremists, zombies, we’ll fight them all! We’ll never lose that pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness. It’s truly the American way.