Hellmouth Movie Review

Strange Films

Hellmouth 2014

Hellmouth, Strange Films 2014

Director Joe Geddes teams up with Pontypool writer and lead actor Stephen McHattie for visually stunning spooky adventure about a terminally ill grave digger who travels to hell to rescue the beautiful woman he falls in love with.

This highly-stylized CGI endeavor pays homage to 1950’s horror and sci-fi cinema, but lacks the campy fun of any such movies. Truth is this is more of an offbeat fantasy drama than horror and it takes itself quite seriously, which would have been fine if the story had made any sense. Despite the eye-popping visuals, the movie slogs along without actually going anywhere, which is a real shame for Stephen McHattie, who does a fine job playing Charlie Baker, a graveyard caretaker suffering from episodic pran disease (brain clunk). In addition to his head pounding pain, Charlie endures daily harassment from local children and starts to notice some bizarre vandalism happening in the cemetery. Problem is Charlie can’t be sure if this isn’t all an illusion. Charlie is tired of looking after the dead and wants to move to Florida, but after a visit from his employer, Charlie learns he’ll have to delay retirement for reasons not entirely clear and inherits a box with a mysterious map, which he can’t stand more than 10 feet away from. While on an afternoon drive, he meets an alluring woman named Fay, who is running away from an unseen force. The two quickly fall in love and Hell doesn’t seem to like it very much. Fay disappears just as quickly as she showed up. 

Hellmouth, Strange Films 2014

The movie then introduces a subplot involving a squirrelly policeman on the hunt for two dangerous escaped criminals from the local insane asylum. The copper tells Charlie several small and strange tales of the cemetery’s more notorious residents. These small stories are perhaps the most interesting part of the whole movie. Unfortunately, the escaped criminals storyline goes nowhere fast, and soon after, Charlier Baker uses the mystery map to find his way into Hell, where he battle the forces of evil to win back his beloved Fay.

Hellmouth, Strange Films 2014

Unfortunately, the Sin City-style visuals and amazing set design are not enough to carry this one. I didn’t really have any problem with any of the other actors, particularly Julian Richings, who I felt was criminally underused here, but the characters needed more fleshing out and more clarity to their relevance to the main story. The end is one big beautiful muddled mess.

Hellmouth, Strange Films 2014

Horror fans won’t find any scares here, but for those who want weirdness and to witness some really cool visuals, this one’s for you.

Haiku of the Week

May has been cemetery appreciation month and it’s now time to look ahead at the dark days of summer.

cemetery games
young lovers under the moon
werewolf hunt begins

Friday Fright Nightcaps-White Wine Peach Sangria

I would like to get back on some type of schedule. It’s easier said than done sometimes, but in effort to do so, I’m reviving Friday Fright Nightcaps to coincide with our monthly theme. This May is Cemetery Appreciation Month and our theme celebrates cemetery life, so I put together a classy, refreshing drink, perfect for springtime and a tribute to the afterlife.

White Wine Peach Sangria

Ingredients:

750 ml. White wine (Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, Sauvignon Blanc, etc.,)
12 oz. Peach Vodka (New Amsterdam)
Fresh Fruit

First, cut up some fresh fruit. I used peaches, blackberries, red raspberries, apples, and strawberries. Any fruit will do. Next, pour entire contents of wine bottle into a pitcher. Lastly, add 12 oz or about half a bottle of Peach Vodka. I choose to use New Amsterdam brand, but you can use whichever brand you choose. Stir well and refrigerate for about 12-24 hours. Serve chilled.

White Wine Peach Sangria

Haiku of the Week

Our theme this month is cemetery life.

midnight guardians
watching over the dead
no trespassing here

Haiku of the Week

Our theme this month is cemetery life.

black paved roads guide us
no letting go of the past
cemetery path

Haiku of the Week

Our theme this month is cemetery life.

gentle springtime breeze
chatter under the trees
cemetery talk

Monthly Haiku Corner – May

Happy May! We’re halfway to Halloween. Hang in there just a few more months, my friends.

In honor of May being Cemetery Appreciation Month, this month’s theme will be cemetery life.

sunny days ahead
freshly dug forever homes
cemetery life

Happy 4th Anniversary HHH!

Today marks the halfway point to Halloween and it’s also the observed 4th Anniversary of Halloween Horror Haiku!

Halloween Horror Haiku 4th Anniversary

A busy work schedule eats into a lot of my time and focus this year. As a result, I haven’t been posting as much as I’d like, but my little blog is still kicking and I hope to continue to grow. I’ve added horror movies into our celebrations and still committed to being a nice chill place for people who enjoy Halloween, horror, and haiku.

Happy 4th Anniversary HHH

4th Anniversary Contest

Anyone who publicly posts the happy anniversary to Halloween Horror Haiku image above, or an image of their own design, here or on social media, anytime this weekend, will be entered into a free drawing to win a Halloween Horror prize pack.
Halloween Prize Pack:

The Conjuring Blu-Ray DVD (1 sealed copy)
Halloween Dish Towels from Target’s Hyde & EEK! Boutique (1 set)
DEI Candy Corn Socks (1 pair)
Trick ‘r Treat Pumpkin Ornament (1)
Evil Dead Sticker (1)
Camp Horror enamel pin (1)
Misc. spooky stickers

Halloween Horror Haiku 4th Anniversary Prize Pack

I’ll pick a random winner from the drawing pool on Sunday evening and announce the winner by 9:00pm PT on Monday, May 2nd. Don’t forget to tag me on social media so I see your posts.

Again, I want to thank my supporters, readers, and anyone who stops by this blog. I appreciate your time and energy. Here’s to another great year of Halloween Horror Haiku.🎃

Eat Brains Love Movie Review

I fully intended to have this review finished by 4.20, but I couldn’t make the deadline. The motto this year seems to be better late, than never.

Eat Brains Love, 2019
Directed by Rodman Flender
DiGa Studios/Gunpowder & Sky/Sandman Studios

That may also be a good motto for the protagonist Jake of Eat Brains Love, based on the novel by Jeff Hart. When aimless stoner Jake and Cheer Captain Amanda, discover unprotected sex only leads to heartbreak and disease, the two undead misfits hit the road in search of a cure, with clairvoyant zombie hunters hot on their trail.

Eat Brains Love, 2019 ©DiGa Studios

As you can guess, the zombies, or necros, as they’re called, are the good guys, while the big bad call themselves the Necrotic Control Division (NCD), a secret government agency that hunts down zombies before the public at large finds out about them. The NCD enlists psychics to track down necros and pretend they’re doing this great public service by ridding the world of monsters, but, in actuality, their mindbending leader has nefarious plans of his own.

Hot newcomers Jake Cannavale (whose dad is actor Bobby Cannavale) and Angelique Riveria do a fine job as flesh-eating teenagers realizing the ugly consequences of their big mistakes. After a violent clash with the NCD, they get aid from another zombie couple who’ve learned to live with their condition, quietly feeding off small animals and other monsters, a.k.a. rapists and pedophiles, which they find using the public sex offenders registry. Brilliant! This could’ve been its own movie. Anyways, turns out, feeding is the only way to keep the zombie impulses at bay. While on the run, a sweet romance develops between sassy Amanda and the charming dimwitted stoner.

Eat Brains Love, 2019 ©DiGa Studios

Netflix’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre star Sarah Yarkin, plays Cassandra, a powerful psychic recruited by the NCD to find Jake and Amanda. She provides the overall story narration, which fills in some missing info that the movie didn’t have time to address visually, and conveys her inner feelings about situations and people. Cass also develops a bit of a crush on our boy Jake, putting her at odds with her employer, and, of course, Amanda.

Eat Brains Love, 2019 ©DiGa Studios

The logic of a secret government agency cleaning up highly publicized violent crime scenes, not to mention zombies, falls apart a few times, however, it is somewhat entertaining to see the excuses that do work, i.e., a mass casualty zombie attack is quickly turned into a “school shooting.” Sadly, school shootings are an acceptable normal form of violence to cover up such a fantastical idea as a zombie outbreak. While it’s no Dawn of the Dead, screenwriting duo Mike Herro and David Strauss added just enough social commentary to their humorous and witty script to make this a smarter than the average zombie flick.

Eat Brains Love, 2019 ©DiGa Studios

Roger Corman protege, Rodman Flender (and uncle to rising Hollywood superstar Timothee Chalamet) delivers a witty rom-zom-com, much in the same way his 1999 hit movie Idle Hands did, with the scares taking a backseat to the offbeat comedy and gore (a fistful of testicle, anyone?) My biggest complaint is the ending seemed rushed and ambiguous for no reason, I mean, it’s a crime to leave your audience hanging like that, or it should be. Perhaps there’s a sequel in the works?

Eat Brains Love, 2019 ©DiGa Studios

All in all, I think zombie fans will definitely enjoy this one. It won’t change your life, but you’ll be giggling away like you just smoked a bowl. Eat Brains Love is now streaming on Shudder.