Here comes another controversial American holiday whose roots and traditions are built on whitewashed historical lies. Now I actually dislike this one for personal reasons, so flipping it is easy. Even if I can get behind being thankful and wanting to spend time with family and friends, the glutinous excesses of over-eating and commercialization of Christmas (another holiday covered in lies) truly make this one of the scariest holidays Americans hold, so here’s a special haiku to honor the horror of the holidays!

baked mystery pie
cannibals at the table
Thanksgiving dinner