The turkey is cooked, the pie devoured, and the guests are all passed out in the living room…you survived Thanksgiving…time now to kick back with a cocktail and watch some really bad horror films filled with annoying victims who didn’t.
Blood Rage – currently on Tubi
Nothing says Thanksgiving like a murderous bad twin on a rampage. Run-of-the-mill low-budget 80s slasher, good for laughs and showcasing the once impressive state-of-the-art gory special effects of that time.
Thankskilling – currently on Pluto
For those wondering what would happen if our turkeys turned on us and tortured us with bad puns before killing us, this one’s for you. Exactly what you’d expect for $5,000 Kickstarter film that promises boobs in the first few opening seconds of the film.
Black Friday – currently on On Demand
Bruce Campbell. Zombies. Black Friday hell. I mean, what more do you need? Okay, fine, a group of toy store employees fight off hordes of Black Friday shoppers infected by some alien parasite. It’s a decent horror-comedy and like all good Zombie films, it has a little something to say about consumerism, customer service, and corporate greed.
It’s campy, it’s fun, it’s a gross-out fest, and it’s a Thanksgiving film. Make sure dinner is settled in your tummy before watching.
Kristy – currently on Tubi
Yes, I watched this because of the name, but it turned out to be a great thriller about a evil killer cult that randomly stalks a girl named Justine spending her Thanksgiving break on campus alone, believing her to be a “Kristy” aka a follower of God. It is a bit of a slog in the beginning and the story is not exactly original or even scary. That said, it is nicely shot and the acting is decent. Once things pop off, the cat and mouse chase is enough to keep the tension going. This isn’t a slasher per say, but I was definitely rooting for Justine to be a final girl.
Pilgrim – Only on Hulu
Hulu’s Into the Dark season 2 has given us some great horror for all holidays and this is another truly creepy gem, beautifully shot, well-acted and genuinely scary. I should probably mention that I think historically pilgrims for real were evil people. Why someone thought to invite weirdos to re-enact the first Thanksgiving is beyond me. The question we keep asking throughout the film is whether these pilgrims are some crazy religious cult or demonic souls returned from the netherworld. This is definitely my idea of Thanksgiving hell.
Halloween Horror Haiku 