My Favorite Fantasy Creature Horror

Death of Unicorn opens this weekend and reminds me that there are dozens of great horror movies about fantastical creatures from our most beloved children’s tales. These movies aren’t just fractured fairy tales, no, some of these are gruesome horror gems, worthy of an ogre’s eye.

Most supernatural creautures have the ability to disconcern bad people from the good people in ways we wish we could (it would be so useful these days). Supernatural justice is swift, decisive, and irreversible. In most cases, 1000% deserving. It’s perhaps the whole reason why some of us love horror movies.

Warning for jump scare junkies, my list runs the gambit of horror subgenres, so grab the popcorn, turn out the lights, and forget what the Grimm Brothers taught you about mythical beings.

The Company of Wolves – A dark provocative, twisted retelling of Red Riding Hood with werewolves, set in 18th century. This is British goth horror at its finest, directed by the legendary Neil Jordan and starring Angela Lansbury as grandma, of course! One of my all-time faves!

The Ritual – Probably the best true horror film on this list. Four college grads still mourning the tragic loss of their friend, head out to hike the Scandinavian wild in search of inner peace and find ancient evil instead. I’m not going to give away the mythological creature cuz it’s so good when you figure it out.

Spring – One of best rom-horror ever made. It’s suprisingly tender story of a young man who finds love with a mysterious woman in Italy while mourning the recent loss of his mother. This sweet romantic tale starring Lou Taylor Pucci and Nadia Hilker, sometimes makes you forget you’re watching a scary film.

Pan’s Labyrinth – Guillermo Del Toro’s
magnum opus features classic elements of horror, war drama, and fairy tales. Del Toro himself considers it a parable. Set in Francoist Spain, the story of young girl who falls into a dark labyrinth filled with terrifying magical creatures is the greatest example of dark fantasy/horror and an absolute must watch movie.

Gretel & Hansel – This might be the scariest retelling of the classic children’s tale ever produced. Directed by Osgood Perkins, the movie is heavy on atmosphere and mood, rather than action (at least until the end) and focuses on the untapped power of Gretel battling the evil witch, who is seriously got to be one of the scariest witches of all time on film.

Antlers – An original story about a troubled little boy harboring a dark secret and the sad ordinary people trying to help before finding themselves sucked into deadly world of a wendigo. Everyday man Jesse Plemons leads an all-star cast in this underrated horror gem, produced by Guillermo Del Toro and David S. Goyer. Acting, production quality, story, and scares are top notch. I believe the wendigo is one of the scariest mythical creatures and have longed for a good adaptation of the folklore. This is the best so far.

Troll Hunter – Norweigan horror film about a group of college students who set out to do a documentary of a legendary bear hunter Hans. After an attack, Hans is forced to reveal the truth that he’s not actually out looking for bears, he’s hunting trolls! This thoroughly original mockumentary style horror is utterly brilliant in the way it brings the fictional creature to life with such seriousness, I now wonder what’s out there in the deep dark woods.

The Hallow – Dark fantasy horror about a conservationist who travels to remote Ireland with his wife and baby, only to meet hostile locals who warn the man about the region’s Hallow, fairies, banshees, and baby-stealing fae. It doesn’t take long before the couple are battling the Hallow’s underworld to save their child. Out of all mythical beings, fairies are the most ambiguous. Some are good, some are bad, some are mischievous. Corin Hardy’s directorial debut is one of best and scariest fantasy horrors depicting bad fairies.

The Lure – Insanely odd Polish fantasy film about two mermaids who crawl out of the ocean to join a rock band in a club during the 1980s. It might be light on scares, but the cringe factor is a ten and it’s total trip.

Leprechaun – This is best of 90s campy slasher horror starring pre-Friends ingenue Jennifer Aniston and Warwick Davis having ridiculous fun portraying the devilishly witty leprechaun who doesn’t let any humans get in his way while chasing his gold. Anything that can launch an 8 film franchise, whether they’re good or not, is gold in my book!




Cryptid Monster Marathon – Monstrous, The Retreat, and Dawn of the Beast Movie Reviews

After missing my own self-imposed deadlines in January and February, where I was to present a movie review for the month, I am determined not to miss March! Thus, I decided to triple down and do three movie reviews in celebration of our legendary creatures theme.

The truth is, earlier this March, I watched Dawn of the Beast, but it was only when I started writing the review did I realize the movie was actually the third cryptid monster film, following Monstrous and The Retreat, all directed by Bruce Wemple. Naturally, I had to watch the other two films.

Armed with a great love for campy horror films and his trusty cast of relative unknowns, New York director Bruce Wemple creates fresh horror that makes the socially conscious Gen Z crowd proud. All boxes checked. Wemple knows all the horror tropes, and these films felt like proper indie horror movies. There was decent acting, strong female characters, and lots of action. The camerawork makes good use of those shadows, close-up shots, and practical effects to perpetuate the scares and despite the low budget, the production quality was pretty good. I was even forgiving of the few man-in-a-monster-suit shots, which were super cheesy, but hey look, considering the third film was entirely developed during the pandemic, all of us should be impressed by that. I’ll be honest, I never gave much thought to Adirondack mountains before watching these films, and whatever location Wemple chose to shoot on location is some damn beautiful country. If I wasn’t so scared of the real Wendigo, I’d run out and buy a Winnebago.

The Retreat, 2020 (377 Films)

There’s a lot of good psychological horror here too, especially in the second film, The Retreat. The biggest flaw of this cryptid trilogy was the films suffered from having too much story. I guess having too much story is better than having no story, right? It’s just these long drawn out or overly heavy exposition scenes take away our monster time, and when you make a feature film starring these two legendary creatures, you have got to have more monster!!

I should also mention upfront, each of these movies is stand-alone. You’ll understand each of them on their own just fine, but movie marathons are so much more fun.

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The Ten Creepiest Urban Legends

Urban legends are stories that are meant to scare us and typically serve as a warning or have some type of moral lesson attached. Every state has their own urban legends, some states even share legends, changing the details to fit their locale or whichever narrative is needed, but the core plot stay the same.  The ones I have chosen for this list are the creepiest found in the USA, and some of them are based on real-life true stories! Can you figure out which ones?

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  1. Turn on the Light

After partying most of the night, a co-ed decides to spend the night with a boy she met at the party.  She returns to dorm room to retrieve her keys, careful not to wake her roommate. In the dark room she can hear the sleeping roommate’s heavy breathing and assumes she’s got a cold. When she returns the next day, she finds her roommate’s dead body and the note written in blood on the wall, “Aren’t you glad you didn’t turn on the light?”

This story is sometimes told with the co-ed being more studious and returning to retrieve a book for an all-night study session, but the end-result is always the same. This legend has been around 50 years or more and most likely was started by a parent worried about their college-bound kid.

Moral of the Story:     Screw your roommate’s feelings, always turn on the damn light.

  1. Licked Hand

One night, a woman who lives alone with her nice little dog, hears on the radio that an escaped lunatic is on the loose in her town. She locks up the house tight and goes to bed with her faithful canine companion, who stays close by her bedside all night. When the woman wakes the next morning, she finds her pooch slaughtered and note written in blood on the bathroom mirror, “Humans can lick too.”

Some variations of this legend feature an old woman and sometimes, a young girl. Sometimes she wakes in the middle of the night, hearing a dripping sound, and sometimes, the pet is alive and well at the end. Like the ‘Turn on the Light’ legend, the killer rubs the survivor’s nose in the fact that they barely escaped death.

Moral of the Story:     You’re never going to be in control of your own death and maybe you should get a cat.

Continue reading “The Ten Creepiest Urban Legends”